Every behavior is based on a belief.
If you act scared, it’s because you believe scary thoughts at that moment. If you act resentful, it’s because you believe you’ve been devalued, and so you’re going to defend yourself. If you’re acting prideful, it may be because you believe you’re not good enough, so you’re trying to compensate by being boastful.
If there is a behavior in your life you don’t like, go to the source and change the thought behind it. You need to consider your ways carefully.
Ask yourself: Why do I act that way with this person? Why do I act this way at work or at home? Why do I act this way with certain colleagues? What thought triggered that response? What assumption is behind that action? What belief is beneath that behavior?
Have you ever been in this kind of conflict with your spouse or significant other: It starts off simple enough—but before you know it, something in the argument triggers your emotions, and you go from zero to 100 in emotional intensity in two seconds? Then you’re out of control, upset, nervous, or fearful. You may start sweating, or your voice may rise. Maybe tears start coming down your cheeks.
Something at that moment tapped into an unspoken belief. You may believe the other person is going to leave you. You may believe you haven’t been heard. You may believe your idea isn’t being given validation and you’re not being treated with respect. You believe something that suddenly triggers an emotional response.
If you’re ever in a situation like that, you need to ask this question: What am I believing right now? You need to examine the beliefs beneath your behavior.
The Proverbs says, “Fools will believe anything, but the wise think about what they do.”
To grow in any area of life, examine what’s going on in your mind. Start thinking about what you’re thinking about so your thoughts can lead to healthy, purposeful action.
To help you put this into practice, let’s ponder some questions:
- Think about a behavior you’ve tried to change over the years. What are you believing that causes you to act this way?
- Why is it important to think about the belief behind a behavior before you act?
- When you’re in a tough conversation with someone close to you, how is it helpful for you to think about the beliefs behind your emotional responses?
Excerpt taken from Daily Hope by Rick Warren.
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