Think about the last conversation where you felt truly heard.
Not just listened to. Truly heard. The other person wasn’t checking their phone or waiting to jump in. They were with you.
How long ago was that?
For many of us, it takes a moment to remember. Not because those conversations never happen, but because they’re rare.
Last time, we looked at Dr. Craig Kain’s research on magnetic people. Dr. Kain, a psychologist, identified nine habits they share. Today, let’s look at the first four: listening with genuine interest, making eye contact, remembering details, and asking follow-up questions. These may seem separate, but they all point to one thing: presence.
Presence is magnetic because it communicates value. When someone gives you full attention, they are saying, without words, “You matter.”
That’s where trust begins. People are more likely to trust, confide in, and follow leaders who make them feel seen, heard, and valued.
The challenge is that leaders often move through packed days: overlapping meetings, constant notifications, and conversations conducted while another screen is open. We’ve become good at being physically present while mentally somewhere else. That tells people they are not valued.
Jesus was remarkably, almost disruptively, present, even with crowds pressing in, constant demands, people trying to trap Him, and a mission that mattered more than anything.
A blind beggar cried out from the roadside, and Jesus stopped. “What do you want Me to do for you?” (Luke 18:40-41) He already knew the answer, but the man deserved to be heard, not merely helped.
A woman touched His cloak in a crowd. Jesus stopped again and listened to her story. (Luke 8:45-48)
A tax collector climbed a tree for a glimpse of Jesus. Jesus looked up, called him by name, and invited Himself to dinner. (Luke 19:5)
That’s a very different posture from the one many leaders take.
We often come into conversations looking for problems to solve or advice to give. Before the other person finishes, we’re already preparing our response.
Presence asks us to slow down and focus on the person in front of us. Because where we place our attention reveals what we truly value.
Dr. Kain is right that presence can be developed by paying attention to body language, tone, and what people don’t say. But without real care, presence turns into performance. And people can tell the difference.
As we discussed last time, psychology describes the fruits. Jesus taught the root.
When Jesus taught us to love our neighbors as ourselves, He wasn’t adding another leadership tip. He was changing how we see people. Then presence stops being something we try to produce. We listen and remember details because we care. We ask because we want to know. We put the phone away because the person in front of us matters more.
For leaders, the real question isn’t, “How do I become a better listener?”
It’s, “Do I actually love the people I lead?”
Next time, we’ll look at another quality that drew people to Jesus and why it challenges what our culture says about leadership.
If you’d like to explore what it means to lead from the root, not just the fruits, Kingdom Factor Cohorts is where Christian CEOs, founders, and executives help each other lead with biblical wisdom. Learn more here.