We’ve been taught that leadership requires projecting confidence. Show up prepared. Speak with authority. Own the room. Being humble seems out of place.
Jesus disagreed.
We’ve been exploring Dr. Craig Kain’s research on magnetic people. Last time we saw that three of the habits he identified all pointed to one quality: presence. Presence communicates value. Full attention says, without words, “You matter.”
Today, we’ll look at three more habits from Dr. Kain’s list: staying comfortable in their own skin, balancing confidence with humility, and putting others first. All three point to humility.
Humility is one of leadership’s most misunderstood qualities. Some mistake it for weakness. Others think it means downplaying their abilities.
But humility doesn’t mean thinking less of yourself. It means thinking of yourself less.
Much of leadership is spent managing perceptions: appearing competent, capable, and in control. We need the final word. We interrupt to show what we know. We defend our ideas too quickly. We compare ourselves to others. We feel threatened when someone else gets the credit. We struggle to admit we’re wrong.
The common thread is insecurity. When we’re unsure of our worth, we spend a lot of energy protecting it or proving it. That can keep leaders from becoming people others naturally trust.
Jesus showed us another way.
On the night before His crucifixion, He gathered with His disciples for the Passover meal. Washing dusty feet was a servant’s job, but there was no servant. The disciples had been arguing about who was greatest, and none volunteered.
Then Jesus stood up.
John pauses to tell us something important. “Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under His power… and that He had come from God and was returning to God.” (John 13:3) He knew exactly who He was.
We’ve been conditioned to think leaders don’t stoop and important people don’t serve. Jesus dismantled that idea with a towel and a basin. People weren’t drawn to Him despite His humility. They were drawn to Him because of it.
There’s something deeply attractive about a leader who has nothing to prove. They ask more questions than they answer, admit when they don’t know or when they are wrong, welcome pushback without getting defensive, and celebrate others’ success. They also create a safe space for people to speak, contribute, grow, and shine. Teams that feel safe often outperform those that don’t.
Dr. Kain is right: people are drawn to those who are comfortable in their own skin, quietly confident, and put others first. Jesus simply shows us where those qualities come from
When we know we are deeply loved and valued by God, we no longer need to prove our worth. Humility stops being something we perform. It becomes the natural fruit of a heart secure in God’s love.
So the real question isn’t, “How do I become more humble?”
It’s, “Am I secure enough to make this about someone else?”
Next time, we’ll explore another quality that drew people to Jesus and why it may be one of the most overlooked strengths in leadership.
If you want to know how to be confident while being humble, this is exactly the kind of discussion we have inside Kingdom Factor Cohorts (KFCs), trusted peer groups for Christian CEOs, executives and entrepreneurs who want their leadership to flow from the inside out, not just perform well on the outside.
Curious? Learn more here.
I love this, Mun-Wai.
A few years ago, when I started exploring what really matters in the workplace if we want to bring about healthy change, I began a dialogue with Melody Wilding. It was around the time I was breaking out of my technical quest at Fujitsu and realising it wasn’t working. I couldn’t see anything fundamentally changing.
Looking back, I realised that even in my early twenties, what motivated me was solving problems. Yet the root causes upstream seemed to remain untouched. We held repeated lessons-learned retrospectives, but too often the lessons remained unlearned.
I worked in a strong team of six on the Fujitsu Post Office account. The team had been cut back to the bone, yet that pressure forged deep trust between us. We used to joke that “there’s no I in team,” and we could laugh because we genuinely trusted one another. We didn’t wash each other’s feet, of course, but there was a quiet humility among us. We understood we were one cell within a larger body, and we looked after one another.
Then the flare-ups from surrounding parts of the organisation gradually broke our team apart. I watched that trust slowly erode. I moved into an adjacent team and eventually crafted my exit as managers who lacked humility gained influence.
So yes, I love the meekness you speak of—not weakness, but strength under control. The kind of strength that serves rather than dominates, and the humility that seeks to heal instead of pride masquerading as correction.