Let’s be painfully candid here. I’ve had my share of arguments, and you’ve had yours. I’ve had some that were never reconciled. Thankfully, most ended in a renewed friendship. I’ve learned through the years a few strategies that have proven effective in facing difficult disagreements.
1. When in a disagreement, work hard to see the other point of view. That begins with listening. Include in the formula three qualities that don’t come easily: honesty, objectivity, and humility. That’s the full package for handling conflict correctly. Unfortunately, none of that comes naturally.
2. When both sides have validity, seek a wise compromise. For those who were reared as I was, even the thought of compromise makes you bristle. If you’ve got backbone, you don’t give in. You stand firm, regardless. I appreciate an individual with a backbone—true grit. But one who never bends, one who refuses to negotiate toward resolution? Hardly. I admire more someone who willingly and graciously seeks a suitable solution to disagreement, without in any way compromising their values and principles.
3. When the conflict persists, care enough to work it through rather than walk out. Slamming a phone down in the middle of a conversation or stomping out of the conference room solves nothing. Nor does a lengthy, manipulative silent treatment benefit either party. Or quitting your job in a huff. Or dare I say, bolting from a marriage. That’s not how to handle disagreements. Work it through. Stay at it. It’s some of the hardest work you’ll do, but it’s also the most rewarding.
4. When it cannot be resolved, graciously agree to disagree without becoming disagreeable. Don’t take shots at or slam against each other. On the flip side, stop licking your wounds.
How about you? What are your strategies for dealing with difficult disagreements? Let me know by leaving a comment below. I’d love to learn from your experience!
Excerpt taken from Insight for Living by Chuck Swindoll.
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