Do you know what healthy relationships depend on?

Last time, we talked about listening being the most important skill in building relationships, whether business or personal. Today, we’ll continue to explore the topic of relationship building.

Selfishness destroys relationships. It is the number one cause of conflict, arguments, divorce, and even war.

“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” Every trouble starts because of self-centeredness.

It’s very easy for selfishness to enter relationships. When you start a relationship, you work really hard at being unselfish. But as time goes on, selfishness creeps in. People tend to put more energy into starting and building relationships than they do in maintaining them.

If selfishness destroys relationships, then it is selflessness that makes them grow. What does selflessness mean? It means less of “me” and more of “you.” It means thinking of others more than you think of yourself and putting other people’s needs before your own. “Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others.”

Selflessness brings out the best in people. It builds trust in relationships. In fact, if you start acting selfless in a relationship, the other person changes too; when you’re selfless, you’re not the same person anymore, so they have to relate to you in a different way.

I’ve seen it many times. Some of the most unlovable people that no one wants to be around are transformed when someone is kind and selfless toward them. When someone is given what they need, not what they deserve, they change in beautiful ways.

“The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others, harvests a crop of weeds. All he’ll have to show for his life is weeds!”

This is the principle of sowing and reaping. What you sow, you’re going to reap. When you sow selflessness, you reap blessings. This is how the universe is wired: the more unselfish you are, the more you are blessed. And you’ll be most fulfilled when you give yourself away.

So, what is one of the hardest things for you to give to someone else? Is it your time, your money, or your emotional resources? How can you practice giving that thing away this week?

Share with me by commenting below. I’d love to hear from you.

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