Every behavior is based on a belief.
If you act scared, it’s because you believe you’re in a scary situation. When you act resentful, you believe you’ve been devalued, so you want to defend yourself. If you’re acting prideful, you may believe you’re not good enough, so you try to compensate by being boastful.
So, you need to carefully consider your ways. If there is a behavior in your life you don’t like or know is wrong, then go to the source and change the thought behind it.
Ask yourself: Why do I act that way at work or with certain people? What thought triggered that response? What assumption is behind that action or what belief is beneath that behavior?
Maybe you’ve been in this kind of conflict before: It starts off simple enough. But before you know it, something in the argument triggers your emotions, and you go from 0 to 100 in emotional intensity in two seconds. Then you’re out of control, upset, nervous, or fearful. You may start sweating or your voice may rise. Maybe tears start coming down your cheeks.
Something in that moment tapped into an unspoken belief. You may believe you haven’t been heard. You may believe your idea isn’t being validated and you’re not being treated with respect. A belief you hold has triggered an emotional response.
If you’re ever in a situation like that, you need to examine the beliefs behind your behavior. As the Proverb says, “Fools will believe anything, but the wise think about what they do.”
To grow in any area of life, examine what’s going on in your mind. Start thinking about what you’re thinking about so your thoughts can lead to healthy, purposeful action.
Let’s put this into practice:
- When you notice yourself feeling triggered or reacting strongly, pause and ask yourself, “What belief might be driving my reaction in this situation?”
- When dealing with recurring frustrations or emotional reactions, what would you need to believe in order to respond in a healthier, more constructive way?
- How might you create a simple daily practice of examining your thoughts?
Excerpt taken from Daily Hope by Rick Warren.