Leadership Memo 2025-9
In the past few months, we’ve looked at the 10 qualities of authentic leadership, how insecure leaders react when threatened, and how to handle the loneliness and criticism that come with it. In this final piece, we step back to see why organizations often push back against the leaders who could help them most, and what you can learn from it.
In my 20+ years of leadership, I’ve seen a pattern: authentic leaders inspire people. But they also expose what’s broken. They reveal inefficiency, misaligned priorities, and fragile egos. That makes control-focused leaders defensive.
I’ve seen it firsthand. One CEO tried to “put me in a box” because the team listened to me more than him. Even though I was transparent and supported the team, he sidelined me and froze me out. Colleagues were torn between standing with me or protecting themselves.
Then there was a VP (my boss at the time) who banned me from talking to anyone outside his team, including his boss, and spread lies about me in executive meetings. When I helped his team collaborate, he saw it as a threat to his control. I changed boss. That VP left the company a year later.
Different leaders, different companies, same underlying dysfunction.
These stories show a clear pattern: systems built on control and hierarchy see authentic leadership as a threat. Here’s why:
- Dysfunction thrives in darkness. Leaders who blame other teams for failures need those silos to stay intact. When someone breaks down walls and gets teams working together, their blame game falls apart.
- Insecure leaders hate being compared. When people experience real respect and transparency, they notice where it’s missing. And that makes insecure leaders uncomfortable.
Broken companies push out their best leaders. They isolate them, spread lies about them, or pressure them to conform.
But authentic leadership wins in the end. I stayed at both companies years after those leaders left. Why? Results don’t lie. Better collaboration, happier people, more trust. That’s impossible to ignore.
So, what can we take away?
1. See the pattern. When your values collide with fragile egos or rigid structures, don’t take it personally. You’re not the problem. You’re revealing one.
2. Be wise about where you fight and where you stay. Align yourself with organizations that share your values.
3. You don’t have to lead alone. Surround yourself with mentors, peers, or a trusted group who can give you perspective when things get tough.
You might consider joining a Kingdom Factor Cohort (KFC), a space where Christian CEOs, founders, and executives sharpen their leadership, build resilience, and support one another through the crossfire that comes with leading authentically. The next virtual Taster Event is on 29 Sept. DM me “KFC” to learn more and reserve your spot.
Leading with integrity isn’t easy. It tests your courage and patience. But giving in to fit in only weakens your impact. Stay authentic, take the heat, and you earn the clarity, influence, and lasting change no position or title can give.
Latest happenings:
SFBABAM (San Francisco Bay Area Business Agility Meetup) is hosting “Redefining Leadership: Shift from a culture of permission and waiting, to intent and action” with leadership expert Jenni Jepsen. She’ll teach how Intent-Based Leadership rewires old habits, giving teams the freedom to act and innovate while leaders focus on guiding, not controlling. You don’t want to miss it! Register now.
When: 14th Oct, 11:30am PDT | 2:30pm EDT | 18:30 GMT | 19.30 BST | 20:30 CEST
I’m excited to debut a new podcast series on “Our Agile Tales”: “Agile Bottom Line: The Spreadsheet Stories”. Senior VP of Finance Nevine White shares what it takes to ditch outdated annual budgets and build financial systems that adapt, experiment, and fuel organizational growth.
Go to your favorite podcast platform or click here to listen.
